I love movies. I really do. I love all kinds of movies – westerns, musicals, comedy, tragedy, action… really there aren’t many that I would spend time out of my day telling people to avoid. But I came across one tonight.
Our friend is here from Colorado Springs (site of our winter home when we win the lottery), and he wanted to share this trainwreck of a movie with us, for the sake of appreciation of something done so not well. He was right. “Dragon Wars” was written and directed by a Korean man, who allegedly had some amount of success with the film in his home country. The previews looked mildly interesting. But, as the saying goes, those are 89 minutes of our lives we will never see again.
The list of badness is extensive… I’ll narrow it down for you. Acting that is BEYOND bad. Scriptwriting that is something out of an introductory screenwriting class for preteens. Direction was from an introductory directing class for those same preteens. The special effects were sufficiently smooth and cool – but I don’t know if it’s even possible to make low-budget special effects anymore. (exception being anything created by Seth Green, perhaps – but in a good way)
There were scenes with military-type persons flying helicopters through downtown L.A. and whenever they encountered an obstacle – be it a giant snake, a building, a lizard/dragon creature – they would throw their hands up to cover their faces and scream like a Girl Next Door wannabe when Hef enters the room. Seriously, every single time. Then there was the 19 year old heroine (her age was a big part of the story) who was out drinking in a bar with her friend in the first part of the film. And of course, the homeless people. The homeless people had the somewhat insulting role of being used as comic relief in two scenes. It makes one wonder if any Americans actually saw the picture before agreeing to release it in this country.
If you’re looking for a good laugh, and don’t have much time, it’s a great one to choose. Just don’t be surprised by the lack of passion in 8 out of 10 of the actors’ faces and voices or the incredibly patchy and choppy editing of scenes and accompanying music.