17 years of parenthood

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spring-2008-126

17 years ago today, at 7:50 a.m., my first child was born. I remember 17 so well. More than any of her previous birthdays, this one is killing me.

When I was 17 I was hardly ever at home. I was in the drama club, so I spent a lot of time at school rehearsing. I didn’t spend much time with my family during that time.

When I was 17 I met the boyfriend I was with off and on for the next two years. Another reason I didn’t spend much time with my family…

When I was 17 “Sexy and Seventeen” was my theme song. The boyfriend took me to the Stray Cats concert and we got matching t-shirts. I wish I still owned mine. It wouldn’t fit me, but it would be kind of cool to let MY 17 year old wear it.

I don’t feel much older than 17 most days – just 17 with more responsibility. And a lot more experience… and a lot more confidence in who I am and what I’m all about. It feels funny to write that, actually. I’ve been unsure of myself for a long time so it has been kind of a fall-back to say that I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. But the truth is, I already know. And better than that – I am actually already that person, for the most part. I don’t think any of us should ever quit learning, growing, moving forward… but it’s really, really satisfying to know that I have accomplished a lot and that from here on out everything else is just the cherry on top.

When I say I’ve been unsure of myself, I don’t mean that I haven’t been self-confident. I think most people I have known over the last dozen or so years would say that I have always seemed very sure of myself and that I’ve had a lot of self-esteem. But what I mean is that although I have been optimistic and I have always looked to the future and had the expectation of success, I just haven’t known where I was headed exactly. I just did what came along and was the easiest thing to do at the time. I think I’m ready now, finally, to move forward with the confidence I need to do things that might not necessarily be the easiest things for me to do. I feel that I am more focused on reaching goals. SETTING them, then reaching them. Not just accepting whatever works at the time.

I’m working on a list – several actually. I am making a list of home-improvement projects I want to complete over the next six months to a year, and a list of books I want to read, and a list of writing projects I want to work on, complete, and send off to publishers. I can’t let another year go by and think “what did I DO last year??” At the end of 2009 I want to look back and say “Look what I did!” even if the projects didn’t come out as planned, or results weren’t achieved… I want to actually take action.

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About Laurie

I have too many hobbies, but have finally learned (sort of) how to focus on one at a time and stifle my desire to add more. ;) I'm a mom, a wife, a writer, an artist, a seamstress, a gardener, a backyard-chicken farmer, a fundraiser, a movie-lover, a book hoarder, a junker, a thrift-store-shopper... I also love to laugh, make people happy, and take road trips. Some of these things make it into blog posts. I'm almost 50 and I'm still able to sleep through the night. I consider that a success.

4 responses »

  1. Well your sexy and 17, my little rock a boat queen
    that’s a little bit I seen, got to let off a bit of steam.

    I mean, not to be weird or anything.
    Oh yeah, I forgot to send Delaney greetings.

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