Tag Archives: 2010

Self-Important Bitches


You know, I consider myself a fairly progressive, independent woman. I have worked full-time since I was 18. I have seen to the raising of two fantastic young women who think for themselves and don’t hesitate to state their opinions. I support people and causes in my community that champion the under-served or overlooked. But I also laugh a lot. I enjoy doing things that are not challenging to my heart or head at times… reading fiction, watching Bravo, baking, shoe shopping… you get my drift.

I read something today that has made me so angry, and defensive of all other women like myself, that I had to respond to it. I was going to leave a comment on the original article, but for some reason AOL.com wouldn’t let me set up an account. Whatever, it’s probably for the best since what I wanted to say might have been censored anyway… so instead, I’ll share it here for your enjoyment. Go read the original piece and come back here to tell me if I’m wrong. I don’t think I am.


Dear Donna,

Surely you don’t think you are speaking for everyone who has ever been touched by breast cancer?  Do you truly feel that anyone who has watched a friend or family member suffer through or die (of breast or any cancer for that matter) would expend the energy to be insulted by a trivial game created to raise awareness of the disease? If you do, I think you’re missing the point entirely.

My aunt, who dealt with the disease twice and had a double mastectomy, was one of the people who sent the Facebook meme about purses to me. And she sent the bra color one last year as well.  SHE would be insulted if she thought she was being accused of overlooking the serious, deadly, sobering side of breast cancer.  I know for a fact that she is available for her friends and neighbors when they need her and she is one of the loudest and most courageous of organizers when there is a need for change in her community. And she is the furthest thing from “coy”.  In fact, she probably burned her bras in the 60s and 70s.

I work for a cancer support organization that employs social workers who work with people who are struggling through the treatment process of cancer every day.  Many of our patients die, or have life-altering side-effects of their disease and treatments.  I’m fairly sure that my aunt, my co-workers who have updated their Facebook statuses, and all the nurses we work with at our local oncology clinic who also have updated Facebook would join me to say you are full of shit.  A few of them might be “coy”, but certainly not all of them.

Cancer awareness is vital, even if it’s spread with a smile, and this “campaign” (for lack of a better word) IS creating awareness. My husband asked me about it; a friend recently told me her daughter and her friends discussed breast cancer self-exams because of it.  Whether you like it or not, it’s doing exactly what it was meant to do, raise awareness.  It’s not a fundraiser or a way to eradicate the disease and it was never advertised to be those things.

Maybe you don’t realize it, but your brand of commentary is not only off-putting, it’s demeaning to women.  But that’s because you are completely out of touch with the majority of female society living in 2010.  As you spew this Feminist rhetoric to the internet masses (um… if they pry themselves from the computer how could they read your swill?) you are refusing to recognize that there are a crapload of those very women you are deriding out there making a difference in their communities, driving awareness for important issues, caring for their friends, leading home tours and organizing “Pink Trash Balls” AND doing it in heels and lipstick.  Oh, and they publicize their causes and fundraising events on Facebook, because that’s where people are going to see their message.

Calm down, have a martini, and watch a little t.v. You need to relax. We’ll take over from here and do what we’ve been doing all along… only we’ll do it because we’re passionate about it and it needs to be done, not because it’s what the Feminist Zealots told us to do.

Sincerely and with a smile,



Further along the road to being a writer…


A while back I started boring you with my rambling about wanting to be a writer. One thing I said I would do is just write more… regardless of what kind of writing it is. So, I started a new blog and foisted myself upon the co-founders of a local website as a contributor. They’re nice enough to tell me they appreciate me, so that’s worked out pretty well.

Another thing I did was ask for a subscription to Writer’s Digest, and my brother – who has ALWAYS been one of my biggest cheerleaders – bought it for me. I’m sure he expects to be thanked in the liner notes of my first book.

So, the other day I was sitting idle as I was manning the table at a fundraiser for work, and was reading some of the articles in my latest copy of Writer’s Digest…

let me just take a moment here to say I have yet to read an article in this magazine that does not say something vital or fresh or inspiring. I’m not kidding. And their website is just so full of relevant information it makes my brain hurt.

…so I was reading the articles (they have nice pictures too), and found two that said things that I’d already decided were important for me as I try to get to my goal of being published this year. The first one was about not letting your writing too “precious”, if you know what I mean. The author suggested that ALL of my writing, as an aspiring author, should be my “real” writing. My voice, my style, and written on purpose. I shouldn’t save the “real” stuff for the time I set aside to work on my book, or essays, or whatever I’m writing to publish. Another suggestion was to find more ways and reasons to write – like what I did when I decided I would do the extra blogs and help put together the newsletter for the Fayetteville Farmer’s Market. This article didn’t inspire me as much as just confirm what I had already decided I need to do. That feels good.

Then there was another article that was titled “DIY Writer’s Retreats” that suggested ways to find bits of time in my day to write – even if it’s just ten minutes in my car while waiting for my kids, or while the young’un is in the tub… I haven’t started this yet, but what was so cool was that the day before I read it –  THE DAY BEFORE!!!! – I told my friend Missy that I want to find an evening each week to go sit at Barnes & Noble or somewhere equally quiet and word-infused, to write. One of the things the author said at the beginning of the article is that you can’t wait for inspiration to hit. How many times have I thought “but I don’t have any ideas” so I haven’t put any words down??? A few-ish. This author said just write. The more you write, the more likely it will be that something will start to happen. Out of all the false starts, something will eventually flow. For every 273 characters I try to create, one will finally start living in my head and talking through my pen.

Now, which night to choose for my DIY Retreat? Belly dancing is on Thursday, so that won’t work…. it’s tough being a renaissance woman.

Ice Storm 2010, you’re not all that!


Yeah, that’s right, I’m talking to YOU. I joined the throngs of people buying up staples for the pantry, locating batteries and candles at home, and making sure that we had clean clothes and blankets… I was ready for a repeat of the storm of 2009. But hey – I knew Ice Storm 2009, and you, sir, were no Ice Storm 2009. You were just a snowy weekend.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining! I didn’t mind a Friday off work. I am still not minding several days in a row in my jammies. (sorry mom, I still don’t get up and get dressed if I don’t have to). I’m kind of loving looking out the window at the lovely snowy yard beyond. I’m just saying I don’t consider you an Ice Storm.

THIS is an ice storm:

Notice the lack of any snow at all? It was all ice, all the time a year ago. This year, it’s this:

Sure, there’s ice under there, but the significant difference this year is the LACK of piles of branches in the yard. Of course, they may have just all broken off last year… but anyway, you get my point. We didn’t lose power this time either, which was a bonus. Now, I have to put away all the survival gear.